I give up

I don't even know why I try to talk to anyone about this place. I can't be the only person who doesn't like to be talked down to.

I talked to RB. today, and BC. came by, and was asked to come in. As usual, she turned things right around and made me feel like a spineless, brainless idiot. I don't remember 90% of the things she said she covered - if I was even in the meetings she mentioned. I don't think I was in the meetings- and I know I missed one or two - and was late to at least one because I was told that I didn't need to come in early. SH. told me that I hadn't been told about the DRCh being serials; and I do not recall ever seeing it mentioned before by BC. As far as some of this other stuff...Mrs. Q said to leave the local call number blank; no one ever told me anything else. I know no one said anything about the 001 and the 008 fields before Susan told me about it about 6-8 months ago.

If I have been making mistakes, then instead of fixing them and forgetting about them, they should have been brought to my attention. If I don't know that I've made a mistake, I can't know that what I did was wrong.

I do know that she has said things and then turned around and done the opposite - for example, telling us that she didn't care if we even did 5 a day, as long as they were right. Yes she did. If we only did 5 a day, she'd tell us we were behind.

BC would tell us to do 5 a day as long as they are good, SH turns around and demands 7-10 every nite, and tells me to use the best record I can find.

It's also not like other people in this place haven't made mistakes. I give up. I'm going to start keeping my eyes open for another place to go; this place is making me crazy.

She was talking to me like I was a child. I felt like just getting up and walking out. I am proud that I didn't cry like I usually do when I get mad. I guess that I just figured that it doesn't matter anymore. To tell you the truth, I don't much like working here anymore.